Sunday, February 25, 2018

Poems on Addiction and Recovery


Hello, I am your disease
I Hate meetings...I Hate higher powers...I Hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of addiction. I Am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That's Me. I have killed millions and I am pleased.
I love to catch you with the element of suprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, haven't I? Wasn't I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call on me? I was there, I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I Love to make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. When you can't feel anything at all. This is true gratification. And all that I ask from you is long term suffering. I've been there for you always.
When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life. People don't take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks, even diabetes, they take seriously. Fools. Without my help these things would not be possible. I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.
More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12 step program. Your program, Your meeting, Your higher power. All of these things weaken me, and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don't see me but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live I may only exist. But I am here...
And until we meet again, If we meet again, I wish you death and suffering.
I am your friend
I am your friend, the only true companion you have.
I am with you when you are lonely;
I am with you when you are sad.
I am with you when you feel withdrawn and when the world is cruel.
I hide the heckler's words and block the missiles thrown in ignorance and anger.
I shelter you from the storms and I shield you from your fears.
I am your friend. I walk with you daily and live in your thoughts.
I feed off your failures, I revel in your guilt.
I thrive on your shame and dance with your deceit.
I keep you in darkness and take pleasure in your pain.
I delight in your loneliness and wallow in your sins.
I laugh when you flounder and strike when you stumble.
I am your friend.
I relish in your anger and worship in your pride.
I feed off your compulsion and dwell in your isolation.
I am familiar with your weaknesses and abuse your denial.
I treasure your resentment and take comfort in your depression.
I am your friend
My name is "Your Disease."
I am your friend. I hold out my hand and bring you faith.
I award you serenity and self-esteem.
I bestow upon you peace and acceptance.
I wrap you in love and tender the shield of knowledge.
I volunteer humility and shower you with confidence.
I bequeath spiritual growth, emotional advancement and physical revival.
I am your friend; I will lead you out of the darkness into the light.
I will carry you when you are weak and escort you through honesty.
I will provide tools for the battles and binding for your wounds.
I am your friend. I will teach you abstinence and release you from burden.
I will initiate forgiveness and I will foster willingness.
I will nurture ambition and claim back your life.
I am your friend.
My name is "Recovery."

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Prayers

I find these prayers very soothing and calming







Uplifting Quotes

Having a rough day so thought something uplifting would help so here they are!










High Pain Day!

I am really struggling today with pain, i am hoping once im off the steroids the pain decreases. While on them i always feel very achy especially in my neck and shoulders and back. To go with it all my fibromyalgia has been flaring as well as my back and legs. I am so tired of pain and its hard to be in a good mood with it today. Pain and depression very much so go hand in hand. I wish i could have just one day with no pain or very little pain, i would think i had died and gone to heaven! I am almost in tears today from it and that takes a lot for that to happen. This is short today because i am not sure what else to say, i just want the pain to stop. Just for a little while please! The 25 deg with a feel like of 15 does NOT help anything!













Tuesday, February 20, 2018

More Inspirational Quotes

Needed some of these today, it is one of those days!










The Not so Fun of Diabetes

Well yesterday i had to start steroids due to my lungs, been coughing a lot and very short of breath. My sugar was up before bed to 208, well 2am i wake up just sweating and feeling awful it was 250 took a bunch of novolog 2 1/2 hours later 275 UGH! It is going up not down. It is almost 5:45am and i am HOPING to get some sleep but cant sleep when my sugars are like this. Calling the Dr to see if i can take more novolog than normal once they open. It is beyond frustrating! I am so tired of being a diabetic, i want to for once to be able to eat and not think hmm is this diabetic friendly? Can i really risk this? Sighsssss